p i g m e n t s o f l i f e

2009-12-19T17:24:00.002+09:00

i recall 2008 as being the year with the most successes and the most failures.

2009 must be the fastest year with the most irrational decisions. I have never felt so complicated in life too. achieved half of the goals i set out at the beginning of the year, while came to realise how much more is there for me to grow. also the first time i felt so incapable, childish, and so much more to learn.

The biggest learning in 2009 must be - how to appreciate the things i get despite the downside of an event, and to think more on consequences. its easy to quit especially at critical moments and hope for a better result after that, but realistically speaking... and then.. so what? why would things get better (in the long run) should i walk away. Yet learning how to handle and strive for the balance, especially on health matters....

would spend the last 2 weeks thinking about my goal in 2010.

looking forward to HK.

2009-12-19T01:28:00.001+09:00

This is turning out to be a monthly entry.

Learning to learn.

Thinking about old kendo days in APU.

2009-11-03T00:18:00.002+09:00

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

2009-10-18T21:35:00.000+09:00

wonder what i have been chasing for the past 5 years.

2009-07-29T00:27:00.001+09:00

not exactly happy. more like relieved.

2009-07-27T00:23:00.002+09:00

reborn!! with+

new laptop
mobile internet
table and 4 leather cushion
new name card holder
new hair tie
... and more to come!!

i have never pampered myself with such things. i feel the power of being a working adult now.

living happily each day, despite moments of stress at work.

also happy to have friends. friends are almost the best! the best is my mom. she rocks.

recently i fell in love with designer goods. not to mention my laptop and my name card holder. to mos - ill show you my name card holder the next time i see you on skype!!!!

going crazy and feeling tired. better sleep since tomorrow is war again.

i feel so fortunate to be so blessed.

2009-06-19T14:10:00.001+09:00

it paid off!! IT PAID OFF!!!

my efforts!!!!! :)

***happiness***

2009-06-14T14:04:00.000+09:00

listen.

2009-06-09T15:02:00.001+09:00

feeling so bored working on mindless things.

2009-05-24T21:38:00.001+09:00

feeling grey.

2009-05-19T22:09:00.001+09:00

THIS IS SOOOOOOO COOL!!!

2009-05-13T01:57:00.001+09:00

I am SOOOOOOO BUSY.

Feels good but really busy.

So busy.

Great I need to get going NOW!!

SOOOOO BUSY!!

2009-04-30T23:59:00.001+09:00

wonder how is singapore now.

2009-04-30T21:33:00.003+09:00

For me, I only blog when I feel about something.

As for today, and at least for today, life kinda sucks.

2009-04-28T23:43:00.001+09:00

i believe in working hard to get rewarded. i also believe in being humble to learn the most.

2009-04-18T21:28:00.001+09:00

i am TOTALLY impressed.

speechless.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY&feature=related

2009-04-15T12:39:00.003+09:00

its been a while since i remembered that i do own a blog. recently, im trying to be very relaxed and free despite the busy schedule. it sounds kinda conflicting but yea, its quite nice to try to relax (sleep a whole lot, play games) IN a busy schedule (moving house, graduation preparation, part-time job).

im going to osaka in june to report my 2 year life here to my sponsors. to do that, i have to submit a report and do a ppt. its a really good time to do a reflection on these two years, and oh my, they have certainly be one of the best two years in my life (with some of the most ups and downs).

coming to japan is like trying to start out everything from the scratch by myself. from applying to the school/visa issues to coming here alone, not knowing a single sole around, establishing my presence and creating my space. for once i felt more independent than ever, but at the same time i feel more reliant than ever.

so 2 years are gone and this would mark the end of my studying life (at least for the moment). wow, since born, i spent 24 years studying - preparing myself to survive in the social world. if i do work for another 24 years, i would be almost 50!!! if I plan to die at 60 or 75, 1/3 of my life is well gone.

anyway, looking back at the goals that i set two years ago... i think i did achieve some of them. i managed to...
1. lose 6 kg.
2. read a lot of books.
3. study a lot and gain real knowledge
4. increase my patience and tolerance and hence
5. be a slightly better person
6. achieve recognition
7. found a pretty decent internship and then job
8. travel a little bit (only to taiwan so far.. need to work on this)
9. went to Dartmouth
10. met up with some friends (mun came to HK and kev came to NH)
11. can conduct any simple conversation in basic japanese
12. made friends and be happy

some things i didn't manage to achieve:
1. stay calm always
2. be more independent
3. pass one of the exams
4. improve in my business japanese
5. stay more active within the school community
6. visit singapore once before graduation
7. have more parties
8. exercise
9. be more disiplined
10. improve english and chinese

ok. ends here. need to study for tax class since the professor hates me.

2009-02-09T06:43:00.004+09:00

its been awhile since i stayed up until almost 7am, and see the sun fall and rise, and only at these odd times would i remember this semi-alive blog and that perhaps its time to write some gibberish on it.

its my fault. i over skied and got addicted to pitapon. but it feels good to work hard after playing ultra hard :D

wonder if i would get any sleep at all before my first class starts in awhile.

2008-12-29T02:24:00.001+09:00

got this from the Chinese idioms dictionary. Something I want to remember in 2009.

塞翁之馬

　　西漢劉安編寫《淮南子‧人間訓》中，有一篇這樣的故事︰
　　以前在北邊的邊塞地方有一個人很會養馬，大家都叫他塞翁。有一天，塞翁的馬從馬廄里逃走了，越過邊境一路跑進了胡人居住的地方，鄰居們知道這個消息都趕來安慰塞翁不要太難過。不料塞翁一點都不難過，反而笑笑說︰"我的馬雖然走失了，但這說不定是件好事呢？"
　　過了幾個月，這匹馬自己跑回來了，而且還帶回了一匹胡地的駿馬。鄰居們听說這個事情之後，又紛紛跑到塞翁家來道賀。塞翁這回反而皺起眉頭對大家說︰"白白得來這匹駿馬恐怕不是甚麼好事啊！"
　　塞翁有個兒子很喜歡騎馬，他有一天就騎著這匹胡地來的駿馬出外遊玩，結果一不小心從馬被上摔下來跌斷了腿。鄰居們知道後，又趕來塞翁家，勸塞翁不要太傷心，沒想到塞翁淡淡的對大家說︰"我的兒子雖然摔斷了腿，但是說不定是件好事呢！"鄰居每個人都莫名其妙，他們認為塞翁肯定是傷心過頭，糊涂了。
　　過了不久，胡人大舉入侵，所有的青年男子都被徵調去當兵，因為胡人非常的剽悍，大部份的年輕男子都戰死沙場，塞翁的兒子因為摔斷了腿不用當兵，反而因此保全了性命。這個時候鄰居們才體悟到，當初塞翁所說的那些話里頭所隱含的智慧。
　　人生中的很多事情，冥冥中自有注定，一件事情是福是禍，往往不是表像可以判定的，凡事順其自然，遇到順心的事不要太得意，遇到沮喪挫折的時候也不要太灰心喪志，淡然處之。
　　塞翁失馬焉知非福、得馬焉知非禍的心態是對的，因人實在無法預測未來。可是，眼下有多少人自以為知道未來？他們偶遇挫折，便苦惱絕望，以為將來必倒霉下去；等到環境順利，卻又不可一世，以為可與天公比高。其實這些心態都是出於無知，因人實在無法知道明天。所以遇福，我們除了感謝上帝，也應存敬畏的心居安思危，想到有一天環境可能改變；而另一方面，在患難中，我們仍可有喜樂，有盼望，因為知道禍患也不是永遠的。

2008-12-23T10:42:00.002+09:00

Goal for 2009:

油断しない
コツコツと勤勉する

2008-12-12T11:33:00.001+09:00

restructuring in process.

I see a brighter future!

2008-11-26T00:42:00.003+09:00

i feel so stupid to be so hungry and then decided to over cook in quantity but can't wait for food to be done so begin snacking while cooking and by the time food is done i feel too full to eat anything.

i boiled half box of pasta - meant for 4 servings.

2008-11-25T17:39:00.001+09:00

I am powderized.

2008-11-23T08:02:00.000+09:00

i am shattered.

2008-11-20T15:43:00.000+09:00

Today's blog is dedicated to my fake best friend.

*waiting for photos*

2008-11-20T03:10:00.001+09:00

4 more classes (2 today and 2 tomorrow) and I am done with the class part of Tuck. By Monday I would be done with the exams part. I am screaming for my space.

2008-11-19T12:27:00.001+09:00

she melts me.

2008-11-14T13:58:00.001+09:00

Perception of Beauty

2008-11-09T06:45:00.000+09:00

I fell in love with this song...

2008-11-09T02:36:00.002+09:00

Without realising, I became a lazy bear that sleeps half my day and procrastine my work... dame da... Need to start getting my brain moving again!

FIGHTOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Com'on!!!!! FIGHTOOOOOO!!!

2008-11-07T11:49:00.003+09:00

my goals before this year ends.
-go back to HK
-have fun in HK with m-chan
-eat pigeon with m-chan
-buy food to bring back to iuj
-slack
-buy a few more clothes
-do more workout
-eat a lot without getting fat
-cook chicken rice for dad&mom
-case com.

my goals in 1 year.
-start working
-find a place good place to move to
-gather with friends
-cfaL1
-jlpt2?
-save money
-do more shopping
-considering b-jpn course in summer
-graduate happily
-dont miss class
-dont be late for morning classes
-more workout
-travel around seasia
-eat all kinds of delicious asia food without going fat
-be happy

2008-11-07T03:17:00.002+09:00

REAL ESTATE NOTES 2:

Buying land means buying a bundle of rights.
Conservation Easement

2008-11-06T03:27:00.003+09:00

REAL ESTATE NOTES:

4 conditions for cap rate to work:

1. fully leased building (90%)
2. number of recent sales of similar buildings
3. relatively stable real estate and financial market conditoins
4. no unique issues like excess land, available for development, environmental issues, physical problems with the buildings

im currently sitting in a real estate class and the professors treats us like primary school idiots. well, not to take all the credits away, he does provide very valuable insights once in a blue moon. on the other hand, he gave us 10 mins to do a group discussion on something that only needs 30 seconds. the homework assignment that could be done in groups of 4s could be done by 1 person in 1 hour too. i guess that would be for the better, since its the only course that i could relax and chill.

Cap rates continued...
Macro factors
-Credit Availability
-Inflation Expectations
-Tax Policy
-Economic Growth GDP
-Interest Rates
-Alternative Investments

Micro(property)
-DD&SS
-Asset Class
-Condition/Quality of budiling (age)
-Location
-Lease term (longer lease term, lower cap rate)
-Credit of Tenant

Conclusion for determination of cap rate:
It is very complex, everything is inter-related, and therefore there is no right formula to determine the "right" cap rate.

2008-11-04T08:49:00.002+09:00

i realised that i have been counting down to many things recently. counting down to the end of my internship, counting down to the end of my exchange. its as though im counting down to the end of my life. in the end, im wondering why am i alive all over again. i can't wait to leave this country where transportation is more than just a pain in the ass.

2008-11-03T05:04:00.001+09:00

i
am
so
tired.

2008-10-29T08:39:00.001+09:00

so job has been decided, no more job hunting. feeling so sian and tired of the process. and guess what, before even getting paid and getting to work, i was invited to go down to INTERVIEW others.

2008-10-28T11:05:00.003+09:00

today a stupid taxi driver cheated my money. he didn't turn on the meter and he said, "ops, i forgot to turn on the meter, but I'm guessing its $10 bucks".

sigh. even though tomorrow is the day that would change my life.

2008-10-27T12:53:00.001+09:00

very very nervous and very very curious. hope it would go well.

2008-10-26T16:11:00.000+09:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2008-10-25T06:23:00.003+09:00

omg... this is amazing. i lost 5cm on my tummy fat over 5 consecutive days of 40mins DVD workout. im sweating like a pig now. going to ask MM to join me in HK too *hohoho* (To MM: bring PE clothes)

2008-10-23T23:21:00.001+09:00

i feel so stress out now. SO STRESS my heart is aching. stress.

the answer would be out anytime. it is the waiting that is killing me.

2008-10-22T13:34:00.002+09:00

I bought a workout dvd 2 weeks ago and it was finally delivered to me yesterday. I know its hard to continue day after day, but I am determined to keep working on it until I leave US (that would be 38 days of workouts?!). umm.. let's wait and see :D

2008-10-20T00:18:00.000+09:00

Oh wow, I didn't know Tuck created the sensitivity toolkit function... wow... see here --> http://mba.tuck.dartmouth.edu/toolkit/

2008-10-19T01:52:00.001+09:00

so cutee!!

2008-10-16T09:43:00.002+09:00

This is a photo of *** adding cheese on soba. Although food is said to be an universal language, I see and feel the cultural gap.
This is what I prepared for dinner tonight. Though it looks plain, its the best thing I have ate in US. I am celebrating the end of PDM today. Dessert would be chocolate ice-cream cake :)

2008-10-11T16:27:00.003+09:00

"Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can't last. "

2008-10-10T10:25:00.001+09:00

I made pizza tonight!

2008-09-29T02:23:00.001+09:00

today my toilet exploded and i had to do a lot of clean up. not fun.

2008-09-15T00:11:00.004+09:00

quick update.

im now in US. Went to boston yesterday and shopped USD800 worth of clothes. I bought a set of really nice suit, 2 really nice shirts, 1 really nice knitted cover-overs and 1 really nice knitted sweater.

I gave the really nice knitted cover-overs to my housemate sarah, since she's been really nice to drive me to and fro sch and I would be depending on her to do so for the next 3 months. I reallly liked it though since it was really nice.

OK. kinda dump. Its really nice and that's why I bought it right? duh.

anyway. today is a bit rainny. The weather has been hot and cold, but in general cold. i can't wait to get over my exchange because i am looking forward to each coming day, but i am not looking forward to any bits of the winter cold though I can't wait to put on my really nice knitted sweater.

i can't wait to shop again, though the next time i travel around US would be the last week of october (sch break, and im going to the BCF). meanwhile, sch starts tomorrow and im both scared and excited.

2008-08-17T20:36:00.002+09:00

Places that I visited in July includes:

Abiko, Chiba

Gokokuji, Tokyo

Akasakamitsuke, Tokyo

Matsudo, Chiba

Ningyocho, Tokyo

2008-08-10T22:00:00.001+09:00

2008-08-03T01:45:00.000+09:00

2008-07-31T00:13:00.001+09:00

im quite sick of hearing this at 7PM... "hi, please do this up.. i know its a bit long and I don't need it by tonight. Just give it to me Tomorrow morning."

2008-07-25T06:52:00.003+09:00

i wanted to update it daily initially, but now its like once every 12 days! gosh.

many things happened. more major stuff would be:
i moved house.
i went to asakusa with shinma-kun
i went to work on a public holiday
i saw a helicopter landing on a building in tokyo (and wondered if that's how rich people avoid the heat and make time)
i started watching japanese tv daily
i had my first sukiyaki and a lot of other special food
i finished reading a book
i went back to singapore for commencement
i found SMU grads in the same company as me in Singapore
i took a few stupid compulsory courses
i went shopping and bought my first victory piece of sleep wear (its very comfortable and i didn't have a chance to wear it out so i wear it to sleep!)
i got my course selection and have decided what to take
i did a negative confession.
i experienced a quite significant earthquake (something i learnt - switch on the TV once u think a major earthquake is coming)

many more which i dont have time to think and write in 5 mins.

Today is friday. Friday means morning meeting! ok. siam liao.

2008-07-10T00:26:00.002+09:00

before i had any time to sit down and switched on my PC again, its already (just turned) Thursday!! omg.

I'm going to Singapore tomorrow :)

I can't wait for this entire internship and Dartmouth to end, and then I'm going back to IUJ again.

Its getting busier. I just got home not long ago, but I wanted to check if my PC is still working... so I switched it on. I'm going to sleep first, and think later.

On a side note: I want to get married, soon. (a sudden bust of loneliness i guess - been in a foreign land for way too long...)

2008-07-02T23:02:00.004+09:00

I've decided to dedicate some time before i sleep during the weekdays to blog about my life in Tokyo and my internship experience.

After crying like mad for the past 3 days, I have finally managed to hold back my tears today. As in, literally trying very hard to hold back. I'm blessed to have my mom and mos to call me and talked to me for the past 2 nights to keep me sane as a human.

Living in Tokyo is sad. May be because I am so alone. I started to think about what I really want in life. So yes, I have the highest GPA in my class, and I was interviewed by MBA networks, appeared on news, going to appear on TV. I had one of the best internships anyone could ask for...

Talking about work, I ended 2 days of work. I felt like I finished 2 intensive courses in school. Its really a lot a lot of learning, and some unbearable prestige.

Day 1-2 of work:
-both days overtime
-arrived 30 mins before start time but everyone was there before i reached
-when i left, everyone was still there...

im assigned to this department called PIG. work is quite competitive, and im assigned to the core business, part of the advisory team in core investment banking…. and so my role is to advise. in order to advise, first i need knowledge… and of all things, i am assigned to do J-REITs. I didn’t know a single thing about J-REITs (before yesterday), but i was given 13 hours yesterday, and about 300 pages to read and FINISH reading, there's about 6 HBS case like thingy, and the rest are all white papers), and so now i am suppose to know all about REITs. i felt like i finished 2 credits course in a single day.

Today, I attended a 40 min training course on Bloomberg, followed by 3 hours of hands on experience. Starting from tomorrow, im suppose to produce ONE report a day… a report that my professor gave us 3 weeks to do and my boss said I should be able to finish in 3 hours... and my boss told me "just get used to having a little free time and we would get you a couple more projects in a couple of weeks"

and i was like...... "am i free now?"

i told him honestly that I can’t finish in 3 hours, and he said... yeah, but soon you'll be fine. so does that mean if i cant finish a report a day i can't go home?

In 2 days I’ve participated in more than 5 meetings; 2 training courses; and read 300 pages. I've also experienced many formalities, and (not related to work specifically) the crazy rush hour squeeze on JR trains in the morning.

There's good stuff of course, but its time to sleep. I need to wake up earlier tomorrow to start on my first report..............

* this is not a blog... im just bitching.

2008-07-02T20:27:00.001+09:00

i hate tokyo.

2008-06-25T20:48:00.003+09:00

today - i was *specially recognised* for outstanding cumulative academic achievement.. and so I was 1st in Fall term, 3rd in Winter term, 1st in Spring term, and overall 1st in 1st year mba. to be honest, its kinda strange because i know there are smarter people around. I do work hard of course, but given the other things Im juggling around with, I never thought it would be like this. I guess im either lucky, or they are focusing their energies on other more important stuff.

yesterday - i spent one whole day chopping many onions and spices into liquid-state size.

the day before to three days before - i have an average of a liter of beer a day in different traditional japanese restaurant... I guess once you get used to it, drinking very chilled freshly brewed beer in hot summer is kinda a luxury.

tomorrow is graduation ceremony.
the day after tomorrow - im moving to chiba.
29th - im moving to tokyo.

2008-06-23T12:56:00.003+09:00

So... after memorising half the korean alphabets, i had nomikai daily... omg... i think i gained 1 kg over 2 days.

waiting for 2pm to go to the bank. kinda sleepy now even though i just woke up.

so my 1st year is officially done... im kinda happy now.

so now its internship, exchange, 2 more semesters, write thesis, graduate :)

2008-06-20T15:03:00.001+09:00

Recently, I'm trying to learn Korean...

2008-06-19T13:14:00.002+09:00

My *stress* over.

In short, i had a *bit* too much on my plate:
basically had 10 *big big* major events that happened over 6 days, 2 of which are off prefecture and I had to travel down to Tokyo and Saitama (which I got to meet up with Min so its not that bad!!)

But thanks to many people and many support, its all cleared properly. In a way, I'm grateful that time doesn't stop. Because I knew that time won't stop, I continued and I knew that everything would have come to an end eventually.

I'll give myself today to relax again, and I should start to get organized and ready for my next battle!

2008-06-16T16:01:00.001+09:00

my 8 hours of freedom starts now :)

finally a short break to breathe..

2008-06-12T01:20:00.004+09:00

i don't know what i am doing.
i switched on the computer just to write this entry... my only way to release myself from some stress.

i am really amazed at/disgusted by my own life style.
avg 2 hrs of sleep (7am-9am) for the past 3 days was bad enough.
forgetting to eat for the entire day sucks. now i have this funny feeling and the only food available are snacks from the vending machine.
i am taking my youth for granted.

i screwed up in my quiz today. that just pushed my overall standing in class from 3rd to 8th.

tomorrow is going to be one of my worst days this week...
now until 830am study, sleep
830-1020am exam
1030-12nn lecture
12-8pm study for next exam
8-10pm exam
10pm-12nn (next day) write/submit report

i know i would still be alive after this week. but internal satisfaction is another story.

i hate myself for being such a perfectionist, knowing the limits yet stubborn to give in to the imaginary boundaries.

i also hate myself for being so greedy, not being able to give in to potential trade-offs and insisting total quality at the expense of my life.

how am i going to stand in front of 800 peeps and the camera to delivery a speech this Saturday given such little preparation?

it is not time management that was bad, it was just greed in taking up more than what i could handle. i started off to challenge myself and see how much i could take, and i am starting to realise my capacity as human - emotionally...

and yet the only place i could complain is here.

now that i finish complaining... am i suppose to get back into reality?

2008-06-11T15:34:00.002+09:00

my heart and brain are both in tears.

coping with stress continues as stress is increasing at an exponential speed.

2008-06-07T10:58:00.004+09:00

Yes. Today is it.

It's actually tomorrow, but I'm going down today and my war starts in one hour... which will last all the way until end of tomorrow @ 5pm before the second wave begins.

For the past 1.5 month, I have dedicated my entire life to this and I really hope this all will pay off, well.

If I could success this time round, it would be a huge huge encouragement for me.

If I could not, then I would have to gather courage and start all over again.

"Dumb enough to jump off the cliff,
brave enough to climb up again"

それでは、

FIGHTOOOOOOO!!!

怖いけどがんばります！頑張るしかない、でしょう？　：）

2008-06-06T00:54:00.001+09:00

hey!!

I have given you all my brain juices and you are still asking for more?!?!

and you are not giving me a break... :(

:(

2008-06-05T19:42:00.000+09:00

:'(

demo...

akirametakunai.

2008-05-31T02:02:00.003+09:00

i started to keep track of the books that i managed to read cover to cover (or almost so) during my course of study here.

gosh, given the fact that i never read (whenever possible) before i came to this school, i am so impressed by my discipline to actually finish books!! what i read in this school is more than what i have read in my entire life prior to here... good job!! FIGHTO!!

2008-05-24T16:51:00.003+09:00

TODAY is ASEAN Night.
J & I cooked Laksa.

I miss Singapore.

2008-05-20T17:12:00.003+09:00

working full speed on the exam in 17days that i might not pass..
but still i will try...

full speed motor: toototototoototooooooo buuuupppp

btw.. why am i here?

2008-05-18T13:19:00.001+09:00

"Report says Hello Kitty to be appointed Japan's tourism ambassador"

2008-05-16T03:16:00.003+09:00

I am SOOOOOO proud of myself for finishing the Investment Report.

Well done.

I miss my mom.

2008-05-12T16:17:00.003+09:00

http://www.iuj.ac.jp/news/index_news.cfm?NewsID=0562&
Language=J

=X

2008-05-09T19:38:00.001+09:00

2008-05-09T17:40:00.003+09:00

I got a piggy for children's day :)　My version is slightly different - I choose the one that uses power supply instead of batteries. (but it looks exactly the same!) hee hee* Oh btw this is a mosquito killer. Its spring in Japan now and there's too many little spies flying around.

OKAY... to update you guys on my traveling plan for this year
(my lazy method of doing this one shot):

May 9, Current: Niigata, Japan (studying)
June 7-8: Shibuya, Japan (Some dying exam, in TOKYO University!!)
June 13-14: Saitama, Japan (Japanese Speech Competition)
June 30-Sept10: Tokyo, Japan (Internship)
July 11-13: flight arrives at 1:15am on 12th to Singapore (Commencement)
Sept 10-Dec20: New Hampshire, USA (Exchange)
Nov10-13: Boston, USA (Career Fair)
Dec 20-Jan8, 09: MIGHT go to HK for holiday if I have $

2008-05-08T23:33:00.002+09:00

This month seems to be my publicity month.

First I will be featured on some website.
Next I am going to take up 10 minutes of Japanese TV time!

Btw, Im going back to Singapore for about 35 hours somewhere in July.

2008-05-02T19:02:00.000+09:00

guess what!! i am going to be featured!!!!!!

2008-04-28T18:26:00.007+09:00

so i cried my heart out over a fry-pan that is worth 580 yen (which is worth SGD7.56362 according to xe.com)

i feel so sick and tired of the Japanese culture suddenly and i am seriously considering the implications of working here in a different culture as a foreigner.

For nerei and yihao, I shall blog a small part of my sad story.

*the story of a 580 yen fry-pan that made me shed a liter of tears*

A good friend of mine (Zoom-san) from Vietnam made the Vietnamese spring-roll for me last month. It was so delicious that I asked her if she would teach me some day, and she said ok. Another Indonesian girl (Y-san) asked Zoom-san to teach her as well, so we all picked a date - Saturday afternoon - to learn how to cook this delicious Vietnamese new year food.

Since I'm going to buy my own ingredients and cook, I was thinking of cooking for Aki and Yohei (2 Japanese friends) who invited me to go out for hanami (Sakura viewing near a shrine) on Sunda.

So on Friday after class, Zoom-san and I went to the supermarket and spent 3 hours getting good ingredients. There was a lot of time that was spent elsewhere as well, such as accompanying her to the bank because she needs to transfer money, as well as waiting for the school bus because there's only 1 bus per hour.

I was really happy and excited about learning how to cook, as well as cooking for Aki and Yohei.

So Saturday I arranged all my schedules in a way such that I have ample time for cooking - the three of us spent over 3 hours in the kitchen chopping ingredients and rolling rolls. In the process I injured my finger with a deep cut but I was still in great mood - thinking that the food will turn out good and all my time and effort and money (and blood) will be worth it.

So we were cooking in Dorm II (where all 3 of us stays). But the thing is this - I don't have any cooking utensils because I usually use rice cooker and my electric pot to do wonders. So Aki who stayed in Dorm I said I could use his fry pan. I would be cooking for him anyway. So I took the fry-pan out of Dorm I and brought it to Dorm II to fry the rolls I took hours to make.

At 7p.m., the time Aki, Yohei, and I agreed to meet in Dorm I kitchen, I was really excited. I carried everything over to Dorm I kitchen and found nobody there, while in my mind I could hear Zoom-san nagging at me that it must be eaten while hot or else the taste would be VERY different. Even microwave would not undo the taste.

I started feeling a bit anxious, so while waiting for them I started to bring bowls and chopsticks out so that they could eat immediately when they arrive. After waiting for a while more, they finally stroll their way in slowly. I didn't mind. I was still very excited and hoping that they would say how delicious the spring-roll was. (The girls and I tried it in the kitchen and it was REALLY great!! Honest!)

They continued to take their time and I was like "hurry up!! lets eat lets eat!" I was still all happy and excited. I hurried up and fill their bowls with rice. Aki made miso soup and I quickly filled their bowls with soup.

Then.. Yohei took a bite and said "This doesn't taste like spring-roll, it taste like meat patty". I was still happy and said "oh come on, its Vietnamese food!! Please appreciate it!"

Then Aki started drinking the soup he made, and said, "oh my soup taste so delicious!"

I started to feel a bit sian... and I said "hurry up and try the spring roll".

He ignored me and continue drinking his soup... after half a bowl of soup, then he took his first bite of spring roll, which he said, "Oh my soup is still better. How long did you take to make the spring roll?"

I said "3 hours shopping, 3 hours making, + some idle time here and there"

Aki then said, "You are not smart, eh. The best food should be delicious and simple to make, like my soup."

I didn't answer him and felt like I have been half an idiot at this time.

Then Aki saw his fry-pan, which I placed on the table near where all our foods are. Aki then said, "Omg, you used my fry-pan without telling me!!"

Yohei then said, "Oh, apologise!"

THEN I got a bit angry, saying "But you said I could use it anytime!"

Then he said "YES BUT I didn't say you could use it anyWHERE!! This is Japanese common sense."

....

I am here, sitting inside the kitchen of a place named "INTERNATIONAL university of Japan".

I know this is Japan. BUT I am not a Japanese. Not even 1%.

SO yeah, I don't have their common sense.

I am a Singaporean after all, and I am proud to be a Singaporean.

....

Then the both of them kept telling me how I should apologise and it is all my fault. I was thinking, oh F***, I wasted 6 hours and I have no F***ing idea what I was doing here.

I refused to apologise, and asked them to explain to me what I did wrong. He said I could use it anytime. If he didn't want me to use it anywhere, he should have told me so. I didn't kept the pan for more than a few hours. Besides, I used it to cook FOR him. He knew that I don't own a fry pan and he knew that I would need a fry pan to fry spring roll. AND he told me I could use it anytime.

FUMEEEEEE!

I couldn't continue eating and sat there for 5 mins while they both continued eating and Aki continued to praise his soup, while Yohei went to get a range of sauce and start pouring onto the spring roll which he repeated commented how it tasted like meat patty.

After 5 minutes, I dont know why but my tears start rolling down my cheek. I didn't want to cry in the kitchen so I walked out of the kitchen and sat in the cold. I was hoping that Yohei could come after me. We are such close friends after all. In the end my tears accompanied me for 30 minutes in the cold.

I went back to my room after that, and more terrible things happened. I end up spending the rest of my weekend crying...

2008-04-27T01:13:00.001+09:00

Today might be the worst day since this year.

Anyway.

2008-04-23T18:09:00.000+09:00

sakura, snow, sandy

2008-04-16T18:06:00.002+09:00

2008-04-13T23:02:00.000+09:00

courses to take in Tuck (tentative):
Fall 2008
-int'll corporate finance
-pte equity finance
-real estate
-societal leadership: microfinance & economic development
-implementing strategy: mgmt control systems

2008-04-11T18:26:00.001+09:00

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to TUCK (Dartmouth College) this SEPTEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

woohoooooooo!

2008-04-10T23:19:00.004+09:00

even though i have reapplied for internet services, i walked to school tonight and am now sitting at the school computer lab with nobody around.

ok, this is spring 2008... its already into the end of first week of my third term here in IUJ. thinking back, so much has happened and life has been changing very quickly ever since I entered SMU.

recalling...
year 1 term 1: SMU life started
year 1 term 2: full of JCC, made friends with APU students and thus decided to go to APU
year 2 term 1: very full of JCC, started Kendo
year 2 term 2: exchange in APU - Japanese and Kendo life started
year 3 term 1: overloading courses back in SMU
year 3 term 2: busy with interviews/tests, GMAT/essays, and got in IUJ
year 3 term 3: last mods, graduated
immediately after that: internship all the way until sept
Sept 16: flew to Japan, searched my way to IUJ
year 1 fall: battled in school, Japanese MC, IM-council
year 1 winter: battled in winter, IM-council, but really spending a lot of time sleeping (my method to fight against the cold)
year 1 spring: now!, studying for CFA, joining speech contest, IM-council finishing..
year 1 summer: internship in tokyo
year 2 fall: might go to Dartmouth, and BCF
year 2 winter: back in snow...
year 2 spring: write thesis and graduate!

its important to recall what i did.. or else i will just forget.

oh, i started ordering newspaper (IHT, my alternative to FT) since wed.

now 2 persons came into the comp. lab... its 11.30pm.

im going to start my Inv hw, read 2 chapters for tmr's class, read the papers, and sleep...

FIGHTOOOOOOOOOO.

2008-04-08T23:51:00.004+09:00

So.. in one year's time, I am going to be writing my graduation thesis and preparing for graduation. Before that... there's a list of concrete goals that I have for myself... both for goals at age of 23 and for goals while I am doing my MBA here.

In terms of academic:
1. Get in dean's list at least once. (done in fall)
2. Top the class once. (done in fall)
3. Maintain and graduate with a GPA above 3.90. (still doing)
4. Pass CFA I. (sweating on it now)
5. Pass JLPT 2. (this one waits)

In terms of career:
1. Get a great internship offer with high learning and great compensation. (got it)
2. Get a great job offer before graduation. (not yet)
3. To work towards a great security analyst. (erm... working on it)

Others:
1. Go to Tuck for exchange. (I GOT IT!!!! :D)
2. Lose weight compared to pre-MBA. (doing it now)
3. Participate in Japanese Speech Contest. (sent application)
4. Participate in Business Plan competition. (this year end)
5. Participate in some academic paper writing. (next year)

2008-04-07T13:49:00.002+09:00

So i was very blessed with many many (around 100?!?!) well wishes accompanied by great food and wine!

Now I am 23.

My goal of age 23... to find a great decent career.

After 2 minutes of identifying my goal of 23 (as i always do for each birth year), I thought this goal is the most appropriate because from NOW until next April 6, I must try to get a decent contract in hand. This is the time period starting exactly NOW and until then, with some qualification exams and career fairs in the middle.. working towards good results as well as (left to pray for) exchange results.

Its either a shout of excitment or a scream of sadness and then moving on.

doki doki... doki!

-- will update pics later..... later... umm.. later!

2008-04-05T14:21:00.000+09:00

I got the best bday present :)

Show you later :D

2008-04-05T02:10:00.004+09:00

2008-04-03T23:09:00.004+09:00

so my holiday ends here...

the 1-week homestay was really fantastic.
one of my best holidays i ever had.

i thank 千葉のママ and 姉ちゃん.
great people i must say.

tomorrow is the start of yet another sch term...

2008-04-02T03:49:00.004+09:00

--when i turned 19th (year 1 in SMU), mun and neo threw a great surprise for me at my place
--when i turned 20th, maki and gang threw a surprise party for me at bt. timah
--when i turned 21th, i was in apu where eri, hitomi, shinji and gang threw a surprise party for me at the AP1 E3
--when i turned 22nd, it was in the midst of study week and mun gave me a surprise visit with great carrot cakes and vitamins
--when i turn(ing) 23rd, host mama threw a fantastic surprise party for me (even when i cooked dinner for her and was planning to surprise her instead!!)

I dont know, but looking at the last 5 years, i was so detached from my family.

its 4 am now and the newspaper man is delivering the papers.

i am sitting here, blogging, wondering about life.

what am i doing... at 1/3 of life, what have i achieved...

I thought about the future and things I want to accomplish, yet these things bring me fear and painful nights as i battle in my dreams.

what am i yearning for?

updated

2008-03-31T11:09:00.005+09:00

let me recall some bits of this spring break:

wed 26th
-went to 草津 from 新潟 (3.5 hours of car ride)
-tried 2 different types of Onsen (PH 2.0, water temp at 54deg)
-went to 千葉県 from 草津 (another 3.5 hours of car ride)

thur 27th
-went around 千葉県 searching for a whole chicken
-in the end bought 1.6kg of chicken (bones and meet seperated)
-cooked traditional singaporean 海南鶏飯

friday 28th
-spent 8 hours with a friend and his sister to remove rice skin from rice!!
-went to tsutaya to borrow Nightmare before Xmas
-had traditional japanese dinner (grilled dried fish, miso soup, rice, fried beef with pepper)
-watched Nightmare before Xmas
-watched Totoro

sat 29th
-traveled to tokyo station
-met up with maki, hiroki, cindy and 2 others
-had とんかつ at Daimaru (12F)
-traveled to 研究公園 and made a new friend 小林　昭憲
-had a different type of traditional japanese dinner (saba miso, miso, rice, lotus, spinach)
-watched 紅の豚

sun 30th
-rainy day
-woke up at 630am
-traveled around 千葉県 to look for 枇杷 ice cream and peanut ice cream
-stuck in the car for 10 hours
-car sick
-no dinner and slept when i reached home

mon 31th
-today!
-STARTED SNOWING again!!!!
-feel so sick and tired
-had ケンタン汁 for breakfast
-blog
-watched The Emperor`s New Groove
-watched Fantasia 2000
-watched Tuesday with Morrie
-散歩
-watched Pirrates of the C.

tue 1st april
-went to 柏高島屋 and OIOI
-went to mister donut
-watched (forgot the title but some thing about the boy locked up in the bell tower and in the end he got freedom)
-cooked indonesia curry for tomorrow (initially planned for today but...)
-had a surprised birthday party by host mother
(a lot of sushi sushi, cakie, champaign, nikujaga, chawanmushi, steamed tai)

2008-03-24T11:45:00.002+09:00

its my 1.5 week holiday from today onwards.
im going to tokyo on tue or wed night..
meeting old smu pals on sat noon.

im still brooding over friday.

need to write my jpn speech now.
been dragging it too long.

2008-03-21T12:00:00.001+09:00

died..

2008-03-17T19:32:00.001+09:00

強くなりたい。

2008-03-12T11:35:00.000+09:00

The weather today ranges from 0 to 9 degrees :)

Its a warm sunny day :)

2008-03-05T23:41:00.000+09:00

control over consciousness means control over quality of life.

2008-02-28T17:36:00.004+09:00

look carefully. someone is removing snow off the traffic light!!
isn't it cute ;P

2008-02-28T17:34:00.002+09:00

drown in snow..

2008-02-28T17:29:00.004+09:00

my first snowman. dedicated to m-chan

i carried a bucket of snow back to the dorm room to build this :D

2008-02-27T02:36:00.001+09:00

suffering on my 10 page report............ due in 11 hours, though class starts in 6 hours.

p i g m e n t s o f l i f e

*updated*

updated