When I was alone on the train today, Adam's words were repeating in my mind - With the right teaching methods, you can even inspire the most quiet person in class.
I am feeling more and more shameful.. about myself. I gave some good thoughts about who I really am. I tear away the surface and dig into myself. I need to be honest here.
I am arrogant.
I assume my sensibility.
In fact, I have nothing to be arrogant with.
I am selfish.
There are many times I know how sad others are feeling over certain things.
But, I pretend that I dont.
I am stupid.
Staring at the text book for hours and I still dont figure things out.
Talking in class is misleading - that makes people think I am smart.
Now that I'm admitting the 3 biggest flaw of me, I am going to remind myself about them. I once had a "debate" with Kev over some philosophical stuff. If I wasn't strong enough, I think I would have burst into tears and just left the table. His words have been haunting me almost weekly since then. I thought about life and dreams. I thought about options, opportunities, and possibilities.. and today.
I have finally decided.
I am going to create possibilities.
I was bounded by options when I was younger.
When I entered SA, I begin to see opportunities.. Though I was still immature to see them clearly then.
And then SMU. I thank SMU. SMU brought me to another phrase in life. I grew in maturity, and begin to believe. I begin to trust myself, see myself as someone capable. I crawled out of my black hole and found confidence. SMU gave me more opportunities. After matriculation, I was HOPING to get above a GPA of 3.0. That was all I was thinking. But as I begin my journey in SMU, I realise I can go further. I can fly higher. I can get into a double degree too. I can go on an exchange programme to Japan too. I can be a TA too. I can head clubs too. I can get shodan in Kendo too. I can advise people too. I can get a scholarship too. I can do an MBA too..
I can shape lives and create the world with my own hands.
I want to credit all these to SMU.
Although I am not the top student - I thank SMU for all the opportunities.
I will move on, to the next phrase, to create possibilities.
Thank you, SMU.
Thank you.
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Most of my life since year 10, I thought I have been pretty mature (at each stage of my life). Though when ever I look back, I found out how young I was.
Today, after the post-BP talk, also after an email from AIP, I realised how immature I am. Right now. How much more I still have to grow, and to learn, and to mature.
After admitting these, I felt a little more mature. I guess the first step to maturity is to admit my immaturity. Not in actions, not physically, but in soul and mind.
Thank God for making me realise.
Amen.
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I found this very meaningful. Just wanna share it with YOU :)
