so today i finally couldn't take the boredom i had in the office and spoke up. i went up to the boss and said firmly, please give me some work, I am bored.

sometimes its fighting against time in the office, while others are moments of reflection. i like to blame things on myself, because i like to be in control of things, and i believe that there's always room for improvement. perhaps due to this, i kept questioning myself if i had been useless in the office, but no - that's not the case. I finished up all my work fast with accuracy & quality. i asked myself why did i wanted this internship so badly - why did i insisted in venturing into a USD350m fund.. i thought working with a fund that grows 45% a year would widen my world view.. i thought the small size firm would provides me a spectrum of perspectives, and that i will get to do a lot more than working in big firms... well i did learn something each day, but i am just not satisfied with the amount of growth... i wanted to be more stretched, i wanted to be higher, more sophisticated in thoughts and knowledge. i wanted to push myself so hard that all that's left is a strong sense of satisfaction...

i miss the feeling of achievement.

so for now - i am going to study for my japanese test next month. get me into advance classes and make me speak like a native soon.