--when i turned 19th (year 1 in SMU), mun and neo threw a great surprise for me at my place
--when i turned 20th, maki and gang threw a surprise party for me at bt. timah
--when i turned 21th, i was in apu where eri, hitomi, shinji and gang threw a surprise party for me at the AP1 E3
--when i turned 22nd, it was in the midst of study week and mun gave me a surprise visit with great carrot cakes and vitamins
--when i turn(ing) 23rd, host mama threw a fantastic surprise party for me (even when i cooked dinner for her and was planning to surprise her instead!!)

I dont know, but looking at the last 5 years, i was so detached from my family.

its 4 am now and the newspaper man is delivering the papers.

i am sitting here, blogging, wondering about life.

what am i doing... at 1/3 of life, what have i achieved...

I thought about the future and things I want to accomplish, yet these things bring me fear and painful nights as i battle in my dreams.

what am i yearning for?