i don't know what i am doing.
i switched on the computer just to write this entry... my only way to release myself from some stress.

i am really amazed at/disgusted by my own life style.
avg 2 hrs of sleep (7am-9am) for the past 3 days was bad enough.
forgetting to eat for the entire day sucks. now i have this funny feeling and the only food available are snacks from the vending machine.
i am taking my youth for granted.

i screwed up in my quiz today. that just pushed my overall standing in class from 3rd to 8th.

tomorrow is going to be one of my worst days this week...
now until 830am study, sleep
830-1020am exam
1030-12nn lecture
12-8pm study for next exam
8-10pm exam
10pm-12nn (next day) write/submit report

i know i would still be alive after this week. but internal satisfaction is another story.

i hate myself for being such a perfectionist, knowing the limits yet stubborn to give in to the imaginary boundaries.

i also hate myself for being so greedy, not being able to give in to potential trade-offs and insisting total quality at the expense of my life.

how am i going to stand in front of 800 peeps and the camera to delivery a speech this Saturday given such little preparation?

it is not time management that was bad, it was just greed in taking up more than what i could handle. i started off to challenge myself and see how much i could take, and i am starting to realise my capacity as human - emotionally...

and yet the only place i could complain is here.

now that i finish complaining... am i suppose to get back into reality?