I have a range of friends. From very young (10 years younger than me, which means PSLE this year) to very old (50+ - now keeping in touch through letters and emails).

Everyone seems to be living in such a painful life. I got to read some of the youngster's blogs. They used their blogs to blast out their frustration in life. Honestly, I can't tell that they detest life so badly just by talking to them. They're all rather introvert-type, though I do sense a slice of sadness in them, I didn't know their voices of detest could be so loud. Everyday of their lives seems to be filled with words like "life sux", "I hate you", "tears flow down uncontrollably" etc... The older friends worry about health matters more. Most of them feeling lonely, and gave me this feeling as if they are sitting by the window each day hoping to get out someday. Yet they are constrained in that small little room with work, with husband, with sorrows, with fear...

I must really appreciate my life. I feel that I'm too lucky. Sometimes, I think I'm so lucky that I'm scared, that, someday, I will lose everything. I have a "warm" family now, I have made new friends, I get to study, I have (relatively) quite a healthy body, I got to learn a range of things when I was young. K once said, "sometimes I'm so envious of you, you get everything." Yup, I thought, I wanted to go for an exchange, I got it. I wanted to get a shodan, I got it. I wanted to pass my d. test, I got it. I wanted to do an internship with a hedge fund co. in HK, I got it. Now I wanted to go MBA with a scholarship, I got it.

Throughout my life, my friends kept telling me things like "Hey I'm so jealous of you", "Hey I really wanna be you", "Why are you so lucky?", "Wah so good, I can never be like you".

True, I think I'm really very very very blessed. God loves me so dearly. But I think, God loves everyone very dearly too. I'm sure its not just about being lucky. If someone just sits in a corner, gazing out the window, kept complaining about his/her life, and hoping to strike a 4D someday, then there's really no one else to blame but himself/herself. If someone kept moving away from him/her trueself, then that person will never grow. If that person doesn't fall, then he/she doesn't know what's reality, and how to improve the situation.

I dont really know what I am blabbering about, but all I wanted to say is - its never too late to fight for your life. Dont be jealous, say things like "you are so lucky", but get up and start fighting. The process might be painful, but each new scar represents your courage, your effort, and your growth. When you stop and look back, and you thought you see no one and feel lonely, don't be... there's always someone there, who loves you. There's always someone there, who's guiding you without your knowledge. Remember that, and move on. May be you dont get to see that someone now. But you will, eventually. For He will never leave you alone. He will always forgive you for everything you've done, as long as you honestly confront to Him, and be determined to move on.

God loves me, and He loves you too.